Five years from now

I read the New York Times Morning newsletter just about every day. I find it a reliable, daily overview of the news that keeps me current with what's going on. It also has some other-news qualities that I enjoy.

This morning's edition led off with an entry about writing a letter to one's self five years into the future.

It spurred me to think what I think my life will be life in 2030 -- and what I hope my life is like then.

So, here goes -- My life five years from now. What do I envision?

• I aim to remain happily married to my wife and to be celebrating 25+ years of marriage.

This is no pedestrian wish. Five years from now, our sons will have graduated from high school, presumably left for a college, and we will be empty nesters. I have heard, and realize, this will be a big marital transition. No longer will our relationship revolve at least partially around caring and providing for our children, watching them perform artistically or athletically, negotiating their daily or nightly activities, etc. My wife and I will return -- some 25 years later -- to being just the two of us. That means our life before kids, when we were much younger. A lot has changed since then, of course, naturally or otherwise. Do just pick up from where you left off a quarter-century ago? Is it that simple?

My guess is of course it's not that simple. It will take effort and devotion to reimagine and remake our relationship, to freshen it up, maybe introduce some things that are new, to match some of our interests, to figure out how we spend quality time together, how we advance our union.

That certainly takes some thought.

I think we'll need to establish some patterns, some activities that we can put on the calendar, to do together. It can be as simple as a weekly "date night" or a once-yearly vacation. 

But it probably needs to be more than that. It probably needs to address at least at some level our daily interactions, what happens when we're home together. Not an exercise in granularity, I hope, but some contours for our day-to-day existence together.

I love my wife. She has her interests, I have mine. Sometimes those interests intersect; sometimes they don't. Imagining ourselves fives years in the future, I think it's important to highlight those intersecting interests, so we're spending enriching time together.

• Our sons have transitioned after high school

I hope that our children are excitedly embarking on their next phase in life, post high-school. They will be fully independent for the first time.  I hope they are embracing those moments, that they are responsible, mature, and ambitious in their scope of interests, friends, career paths and other pursuits. This is the time when anything, and everything, is open to them. The opportunities are high, the risks low. So much to gain from life, relatively little to lose (so to speak). Consider everything. Most importantly, find -- and do -- what makes you happy. I cannot stress that enough to my future boys. Success is about happiness, finding what brings you joy. Relationships, job, interests, hobbies, you name it. It's so much more than wealth, or material things. I hope that we have implanted this notion in our children. 

• Who will I be?

This is maybe the toughest question for me to address. What will I want to be doing What should I be doing? What will motivate me? Will it make sense vis a vis my relationship with my wife -- not too selfish, for example? I'll need to ponder this a bit.

I'll make this a future blog post. 

But not too far in the future.