Small Moments

My sons had birthdays recently, and their special occasions had me reflecting on some small moments I have spent with them. 

My sons are getting older, and I don't see them very much anymore. Nathaniel's a junior, and he can drive himself to and from wherever he pleases. Isaiah's a freshman, and while he hasn't learned how to drive yet, the moments with him are pretty fleeting as he just basically orders his chauffeur (that’s me) for rides to and from wherever he needs to go.  

But I will say both of them had birthdays recently, and it was a rare occurrence for Michelle and I to spend some time with them. Nathaniel, much to my surprise, did not go out with his friends on his birthday, even though he had an early out from school, meaning he was dismissed by 12:30 pm. So I proposed that we go to lunch together, and again, to my surprise, he said yes. So he came home, and then we waited for Isaiah to finish a short rehearsal, which, as it turned out, morphed into a speech practice. So, nearly two hours later, and with both of us famished, Nathaniel and I went to a little lunch spot in our small town.  

The food came out quickly, so we didn't have much time for much of a conversation. But the fact that I was sitting with him at a table, and he with me, was actually special enough.  

Isaiah's birthday, unfortunately, did not give much of a chance for anyone in the family to spend much time with him. He was very busy that day. He had honors choir in the morning, which meant he had to be at school by 7:15 am. After school, he had rehearsal for a musical production that he's involved in called Hadestown, followed by an evening public presentation in his history class, followed by a night finale performance by his high school marching band.  

By the time he got home, which was late, all he did was open some presents and didn't even make time to dive into his cake. 

But I've had some special moments with him. One that comes immediately to mind is when he had some trouble with his eighth grade basketball team, namely with his coach who misused him to the point where Isaiah was basically wondering whether he wanted to stick with basketball at all, a sport that he has truly enjoyed for several years playing with his friends or just shooting by himself. So, when we decided that he would leave the team, I told him I would coach him myself. Every morning, when the team practiced at 6 am, Isaiah and I went through skills drills at another gym. I can't say every session was pure bliss and joy. There were moments when he probably didn't want to be there. And there definitely were moments when I was a little tired and frustrated. But I wouldn't trade that for anything because those were moments I got to spend exclusively with him. 

That's one thing about being a parent: You have to let your kids go. Their steps towards independence are inevitable. It can hurt sometimes in a way for a parent, because you know that your grip on them, if you want to call it a grip, is slipping away. You don't see them as much. You don't hear from them as much. Sometimes it's hard to even know what they're thinking, what they're up to, and any questions might be seen by them as an interrogation of sorts. I think they know deep down that we care and we're not trying to pry into their personal lives, but it is still difficult when they don't say much at all. 

All of which makes small moments, even if they're sporadic and fleeting, to be really, really important. I prize them and I'll never forget them. I love the small moments because I love my boys.