A happy Homecoming

 Each fall, there is Homecoming at our town's school.

Until this year, the occasion merited little attention from us. Neither Michelle nor I attended school here, so as non-alumni, there wasn't much for us to be involved in. Our children hadn't taken much notice, either, beyond perhaps going to the football game (you know, concessions and all that).

That changed this year.

Each of our two sons had a date to the Homecoming Dance. Nathaniel, a junior, asked a sophomore named Kate who he knows from marching band and whom he's had his eyes on. Isaiah, a freshman, asked a girl named Alice, also from marching band, who -- as rumor had it -- liked him.

Homecoming, or at least how boys ask girls to any school-organized dance, has changed a lot. Back in my day, you approached a girl you liked and asked her to be your date. The most challenging part of all that was summoning the courage to ask.

It's a lot more elaborate these days. Each Lewis boy designed a poster to verbalize their request (I guess). They then had to concoct a moment to make the Big Ask. And that is a torturous affair in itself.

Isaiah created his ask-the-girl poster with a clever play on the marching band's musical theme, Reminisce. Michelle helped him sketch the letters, in white and purple (the band's color scheme this year) and to embroider the poster with musical notes. It looked quite enticing. I was impressed by the effort that Isaiah put into it. (I blogged about this in detail last month.)

Then that poster sat on our dining room table for days -- then a week, then a second week -- as Isaiah agonized over when, and how, to ask Alice to go with him. Finally, one day, after multiple rounds of texts, snaps, and who know what other forms of communication – and with a little more than a week before the dance, – Isaiah suddenly asked Michelle for a ride to a friend's house. He grabbed his poster, and whoosh! they were off. 

Whatever the arrangement and however Alice happened to show up, Isaiah proffered his request, and it was accepted. He had a date. 

Nathaniel asked his date with at least a little more lead time before the dance. But he, too, anguished over the poster he felt he needed to create, recruiting his friends for advice -- and presumably, moral support. I would overhear him chatting excitedly with his friends about the what, when, and how to ask Kate. Everyone seemed to have an opinion, and all it seemed was to spin the kid into circles. I don't remember the specifics, but, like Isaiah, Nathaniel suddenly bolted out the door, off to a friend's house to design the masterpiece that would be his instrument to court a date. At least he didn't let the poster linger as he dawdled about the ask. I don't know what he wrote on it, but I guess it worked. He, too, had a date.

I hadn't noticed the change, but Homecoming has become a real gala affair, seeming to rival Prom in pomp, circumstance and apparel. Maybe not as much on the guy's side. Isaiah dressed in a white shirt, with a black tie, and black pants. Simple and effective. His guy friends did the same, although one added a suit jacket to up the ante.

The girls are another clothing matter. These young ladies, all freshmen, were decked out in glitzy, glittering dresses, some showing a fair amount of skin in the upper and lower halves. Most wore heels. They looked like a group of Barbies. When Isaiah and arrived at one of the girl's homes for pictures, I could scarcely believe the pageantry involved. The girls' mothers all were clustered together, chattering excitedly, keenly anticipating the moment when the girls en masse walked down the stairs like some scene out of Cinderella. 

The picture taking session was equally orchestrated. We drove in a caravan a few hundred yards to a human-made pond surrounded by a thin stand of trees. The pond had a boulder at one point on the shore that I assume the subdivision developer had trucked in for aesthetics. The boys chose that spot for their guys-only pictures. On the other side was a small promontory at which all gathered for multiple rounds of picture taking. It lasted 45 minutes, and would have gone on for far longer if one of the date's 8th-grade sisters hadn't decided to start ordering everyone into positions and poses. Thank goodness for that.

That was just the beginning: The girls' parents had offered to give all dates a ride to a nearby city where they could go to dinner, followed by ice cream. They then would drive the group to the dance. Then, when the dance ended, they had agreed to drive the group back to the original host home for an after party of watching movies and playing games until 2 am. 2 am! One of Isaiah's friend's parents said he would pick up his son and Isaiah and return them after that. 

All I can say to all that: Thank you and really?

I'm less clear what Nathaniel, his date, and their group did, as Michelle went to the picture taking and those kids drove themselves to dinner, then the dance, and then an after party at one of the girl's homes. Like Isaiah, Nathaniel got home around 2 am.

Quick side note here: Michelle and I normally would never allow our kids to stay out that late. We originally had set a curfew of midnight for Nathaniel and 11 pm for Isaiah. But then the after parties materialized, and we realized, somewhat grudgingly, that it would be unfair for our boys to be the only ones ordered home. So, we relented. We live in a small town, where we know most folks – and they know us – so there is a level of trust here. I know there was no way I was allowed to roam the big city of Houston for any high school dance when I was younger.

But times change, and Homecoming sure as heck is a big deal now. But you know what? Our sons had a great time. Isaiah, so nervous and awkward about his date and the dance because his feelings were not on par with hers, reported he had a great time.

"She told me she didn't like me like that anymore, and then we just had a great time talking and hanging out as friends," he told us the next morning.

Nathaniel flopped on our bed, tired and happy, when he returned. He recounted that he, too, had a great time. This girl may be more than just a date, he added. 

Homecoming may be hyped more than needed, but really that's no matter. What matters is our boys enjoyed themselves, and had returned safe and sound. 

I'm already looking forward to Prom.